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For those of you who need a little yumah before we launch into the night terror….as overheard….
Man at motel: I’m gonna have to get ear plugs, the girl in the next room seems to be a bit of screamer, sounds like two raccoons fighting over a pecan pie….
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin. Once upon a time, Ruapehu, Tongariro, Pihanga and Taranaki all lived at the southern end of Lake Taupo. When they competed for Ruapehu’s favours, a fight resulted which saw Tongariro as the victor. Taranaki, the beautiful one, fell in love with Pihanga, who was Tongariro’s wife, and the enraged husband gave Taranaki such a kick as to drive him far to the west. But Taranaki vowed to march back one day. So beware those who sit in his path.
There are five volcanoes in the Taupo volcanic zone which have erupted in the last 100 years, with both Ruapehu and Ngauruhoe erupting as recently as 1975 (Ruapehu also erupted in 1953, killing 151 people). Both are still active, emitting steam and gas from time to time and I can see Ruapehu as I write this, rising 2997 metres in snow capped glory, its crater crowned head glittering in a halo of golden afternoon sun against the pale blue of the late Autumn sky.
It always surprises me when gargantuan mountains emerge in the middle of lush, green rolling lands, imposing themselves without so much as a by your leave. Ruapehu is maybe some two hours drive from where I am, yet it looks like it’s just across the fields. Interestingly, in Maori mythology, volcanoes are male. Read into that what you will, as no doubt some of you will.
Pyroclastic flow. God there’s a phrase that gets me all hot. I’ve only been obsessed with volcanoes forever and vast mountain ranges since I attempted to do some Six Million Dollar man stylee running some two thousand metres up in the Andes. Well, when I say run, I mean, move a bit faster than I normally do in wedge heel sandals. Don’t even ask how I got up there in wedge heel sandals. Just believe it. Aconcagua (two days walk to base camp said our guide - a hella lot longer in your footwear lady - and there was me thinking it was just a short stroll across that meadow yonder) to the best of my knowledge is not a volcano, but it gave me a lifelong fascination for mountains that were made to be worshipped. Like Mount Taranaki.
The first time I saw a photograph of Taranaki it was true love. The first time I saw Taranaki from the car window, it was pure unadulterated passion, even more than the passion I felt for the very lovely Maori bartender with the improbable name of Patrique that I was to meet the same night (they build everything big in Taranaki it seems) but that could have been the gin.
It may sound silly to some but this volcano has been calling to me for a long time. It took me a long time to answer the call and even longer to get to see it, rising majestically above a swathe of cloud, dominant, breathtaking, commanding. Our first meeting was brief and in passing, but it was worth every penny and every mile it took to get here.
I will go to the volcano again and we will be face to face. And this time in more suitable footwear…