Basia Unleashed

I was reminded of a conversation I had with Taoist via email whilst perusing his own blogette (in which he claims he is not a geek. Delusional, is what you are sweetheart). About him being a pedant and an encounter with a policeman during which the Taoist’s pedantry and cheek was to the fore. So anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the email conversation during which I recounted an encounter with Australia Post. Picture the scene, I am in the posty about to mail a birthday present to a friend in New Zealand. The envelope weighs next to nothing and contains a purty Bloom make up bag, a Bloom lip gloss and a birthday card with one of those pin badges on it with a picture of a martini glass. Apt. Anyway….

Me: Air mail to New Zealand please
Man takes envelope and weighs it.
Man: Please fill in this form. Customs
Me: Which part of the form goes on the envelope
Man (indicates): that one
Me: Oh, so she can see how much I spent on her birthday present?
Man: Put ‘no commercial value”
I put ‘no commercial value’

and here’s where it gets a bit bizarro

Man: I need some ID
Me: WHAT?
Man: I need some ID
Me: What FOR?
Man: is lost for words. Then rallies.
Man: The machine wants an ID
(he means his cash register thingie machine)
Me: To post a make up bag to New Zealand?
Man: Yes
Me: Where am I? Stalinist Russia?
Man (looks amazed): It’s been like this since 9/11
Me: Not in the free world it hasn’t
Man: Any card will do
Me: I don’t HAVE a card - oh except for a National Health Prescription Exemption Card
Man (looks puzzled): Ok
Man fiddles with machine and card
Man: That’s six dollars twenty

Money is exchanged. Man looks at me like I am mad, I look at man and am ragin’.

Man (indicating to huge boxes behind him): Lucky you didn’t want to mail something like that!
Me: What would I need? A blood test and the handing over of my first born?
Man: ummmm

Amazingly the man actually sent my package to New Zealand and not to some fella in Uzbekistan or somewhere who’d be all humpty about now about someone sending him a pink make up bag from Australia…

This is all John Howard’s fault people tell me. People also tell me they all know no one who voted for Howard during the last election. John Howard’s government wants to know even what you had for your breakfast this time last week. Thank God for Spain and Spaniards, is all I can say…