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you broke my heart in 17 places, soho was only one

Well not literally of course but I did require several shots of medicinal stuff to quell the thundering in my heart and all the stuff that tore through my head last night. Three years ago I ended a destructive relationship that had consumed me for the two previous years - a relationship based on pure chemical animal attraction that morphed into a kind of love. And last night, while watching trash TV, there he was, and I was rendered speechless.

It’s funny because I have thought of him from time to time, wondered what he is doing, where he is living and what, if anything, I would say, if we ever ran into one another again. The scenarios change according to my daily mood, as you might imagine. But I often wondered if there would be any feelings left.

Now I know. And the answer is:

What was I thinking?

And yet there is still a tiny little corner of my heart, so tiny, not even NASA’s spaceship or Google Earth’s technology could locate it, that when I think of him it reminds me that so many people go through life incapable of giving or receiving love and no matter what, I am never going to be one of them.

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